Q:If you don't take over the world, the SKELETONS will!
No. If I fight the SKELETONS then they can not take over.
Noone takes over anybody?I am the biggest and pro wrestling champion I can fight them all
You finger yourself??? Disgusting. Those fingers should be turning pages of the holy bible
gotta get em wet before you turn the pages tho
this is going to be the text post that sends me straight to hell isnt it
You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.
We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”
I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”
He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.
My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.
I still say this was hilarious fuck you guys
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
I AM ALLOWED TO CRY OVER SIMPLE THINGS
I AM FULLY AWARE THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS TOO AND THEY ARE PROBABLY WORSE OFF THAN I AM
DO NOT REMIND ME OF THAT WHEN I AM UPSET
MY FEELINGS ARE VALID
I AM ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN
WHAT IS SIMPLE TO YOU COULD BE STRESSFUL TO ME
STOP TELLING ME TO THINK ABOUT PEOPLE THAT HAVE IT WORSE
STOP STOP STOP
THIS IS IMPORTANT